Saturday, March 29, 2014

Transition

The last few months have not been easy. I never expected moving would be this hard. I've always enjoyed moving in the past. There have been days in the last two months when I got seriously worried that I was perhaps starting to be depressed (like "depression" depressed.) I've experienced major depression about 10 years ago and I haven't forgotten how that feels. It's been a couple of months now since the move and I know I'm not suffering from depression, but mainly from emotions resulting from major transitions.

The fact that January, February and March have been very nasty weather-wise hasn't helped. Also, having a full course load at school, trying to finish my degree before the baby comes, also played a role in how hard it's been to transition.

That being said, things are *starting* to get/feel better.

First, I've been going to regular Reiki sessions with a wonderful person who has helped me with balancing my energy while I transition into this new part of my life.

Second, I'm almost done school :) We don't realize how stressful certain aspects of our life are until it's behind us. School, was stressing me out!

Also, the weather if FINALLY getting better. Everything is starting to melt, and although it's super dirty (especially on the doggie pawpaws), this is the beginning of spring. I can't wait.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

How I'm feeling these days

We moved exactly a month ago. It feels more like 2 months. So much has been done in those 4 weeks. The move was not as easy as I thought. I mean, it's not my first move, so I know it would be a lot of work but I did not anticipate *this much* work.

It's also something hubby and I had never experienced together. I moved in with him, in his house, the first time. This is different, we bought a house together.  We started from scratch together and we had to basically discuss everything. It made me realize just how different we are in how we prioritize house stuff and how we work things in general. That being said, however, we DID do great and I am proud of us. Now I just want to see these past 4 weeks behind us.

I compare moving to chaos.  That's how it feels.  I am just starting now to feel a bit normal.  I have a feeling that it will take awhile before I can feel a real sense of normalcy again.  Which is fine; I just hope it comes before baby is born.

In the mean time, I am tackling my full-time school schedule to finish my degree in April, just before Chickpea arrives.

My last day at my part-time nanny job is in 3 weeks or so.  I'm looking forward to having a bit more time to rest.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Checking in: post-move

So I'm sitting in my new living room. I love it :) Just taking a break from unpacking.

The last few days have been, to say the least, stressful. We ended up having to move one day earlier than we had planned; so instead of moving on Thursday (yesterday), we moved on Wednesday. I thought that would be the most stressful part, but I had forgotten how much work is involved with unpacking and setting up a new house.  There are many stressful parts.  I'm just trying to ride the wave.  We will get there!

 We had about 95 of those plastic bins/boxes, as well as a few cardboard boxes. We've unpacked about 30. Obviously it's lots of work; especially trying to find a spot for everything. We're finding ourselves getting rid of more stuff (in addition to all the stuff we threw out/gave away last fall in hopes to declutter our place.)  All this effort is worth it though.  I'm just a bit impatient.  And I'm nesting so the urge to "get this house ready" is strong.   

We have long-term plans for this house, but we also have short-term and immediate plans. We're replacing the furnace (next week) and getting some new additional cabinets and counter top in the kitchen. We're, ok *I'm*, hoping to get the cabinets done asap so I can have the extra storage. Actually, the guy who will be doing the cabinets is here discussing with hubby as I write this.

The teenager is adapting well. The dogs too. Big weight off my shoulders.

And to finish, here are the things that I love the most about the house so far after living in it for 2 days:

- the house is actually quite warm and comfortable.  This has to be the best surprise yet.  We were expecting it to be cold since it's a century-old home, but we were wrong.  It is very cozy.  So happy about this!  Long-term goal is to get it as energy-efficient as possible.

- the air is good too.  I noticed that I'm less stuffed up in the morning than our previous home!  Not sure why that is, because this is an older house, but it is what it is and I'm not complaining.

- this house not only has good bones, but it has a good energy too.  This is very important to me.  It's something we felt right away when we visited though.  So it's not a surprise.  I'm just happy that I still feel the same way.

- oh, and I love my new fireplace :)

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My thoughts 2 days before the move



We started packing well in advance. I guess we learn with experience. (Waiting last minute to pack a whole place is not the best as I've learned the many times I moved in my 20s.) It's still a lot of work but it seems less tiring when it's divided over the course of a few months. Renting these plastic bins was totally worth it too. So practical.

Overall, I've been feeling great.  I think this is perfect timing for us to move.  I *just* started a new semester at school so things are still relatively relaxed in terms of homework/exams.  Also (thank God) the weather is great for moving this week in Ottawa.  Plus, I can still move somewhat easily being 5 months pregnant, and not 8.

I did have ONE bad day this past weekend though.  I let my thoughts tornado into negativity and I scared myself.  It started with husband and I trying to decide whether to bring an old table which we use to put the cats litter box on in the basement.  Hubby mentioned that it's possible the new house would be too cold in the winter to leave the basement (which is non-finished) door open to have the litter boxes downstairs.  (I really don't want litter boxes on the main floors.)  Then I started getting worried about all sorts of things.  I got worried my teenage son would hate the new house; that he would not adapt well to the longer commute.  I got scared that I won't like the new town (although I already like it).

You get the idea.  It started with nothing and ended up with me having a hard time falling asleep that night. 

As if I've never dealt with change.  As if I can't adapt to a new situation.  Seriously, the things our minds can do to us sometimes!

And then I remembered some of the quotes that talk about "most of our worries never happen anyway".  And it's true. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Pregnancy update - Week 24

My baby boy is moving a lot. It's nice to feel him move every day since it took forever to feel any movement. For the longest time, I was like "am I really pregnant?", because the only thing I felt was tired and nauseous!

I had an appointment with my midwife this past week and I gained 5 lbs (!!!) in one month. This is not the greatest news, but I know that a lot of people (who are not pregnant) also gained 5 lbs during the holidays.  I'm hoping the weight gain slows down a bit.  I've gained 15 lbs so far.  The one sad thing about the weight gain is that my rings are starting to feel *really* snug.  I actually had to take them off yesterday when I was packing :(  I know it's silly, they're only rings, but this makes me sad; even sadder than having to give up wine for 9 months.

Rings aside, I'm loving being pregnant. I do get tired more easily, which makes the packing for our move a bit harder, but that's to be expected. We started packing well in advance and do a bit every day so it's not overwhelming. We've also contacted a cleaning service to help us with the cleaning of both houses; a quick cleaning of the house we're selling, and a big cleaning of the house we're moving into.

The fun thing about being 24 weeks is that I am *really* showing now :) People in my classes started noticing this week.

Also, one of my dogs (the pug) loves sleeping on my pregnant belly.  I think she's hatching it.